Tips For Ending a Bad Date

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Tips For Ending a Bad Date

Postby Lotte » Thu Nov 26, 2009 10:29 pm

The guy that you have fancied for ages has asked you out on a date, and you've spent all day getting ready. Then when he turns up, he looks like he's been dragged through a hedge backwards, and that's just his hair! He's wearing a tatty t-shirt and an old pair of jeans, while you are all made up. It's too late to get changed, so you leave with him anyway. Where does he take you? Yes you've got it - to your local pub or bar, where he spends have the night talking to his buddies, and the other half talking about them. Then to top it off, he takes you for Macdonalds. The whole date was a complete disaster. He is not the guy you thought he was, and you don't know why you ever fancied him in the first place.

So what do you do when it is time to say good night? How do you avoid the end of the date kiss? And how do you let him down gently without being to harsh?

It is obvious you have no intention of seeing him again, so don't beat about the bush. Just get straight to the point. Sometimes being nice just doesn't work. Being too nice to a guy that you have no interest in, can lead to mixed signals, giving them the wrong idea and sometimes unwanted advances.

Making your exit through a toilet window is not the way to escape the situation. Or making excuses like your doing your school research papers. Neither is popping to the loo with your bag and coat and escaping out of the front door. It works and is useful as a desperate measure if the date is really bad, but it is better to deflect the situation and call the date to an end amicably. Leaving someone standing is a bad way to work and should only occur if you are feeling deeply uncomfortable.

First off - thank him for a nice date, and explain (gently) that you don't feel that there is any chemistry. You may prefer to do this by phone at a later stage. If he asks for a second chance, and asks you to go on another date with him; you must be firm with him. If you don't want to have any kind of relationship with the guy, then you have to make it quite clear.

Don't tell him that you want to be friends, unless you are really serious about being his friend and actually believe it can happen. If you don't want to see him again, make this very clear and avoid any contact with him at all. Even giving in to a good night kiss will send out the wrong signal and that is the last thing you want.

Men are not good at reading signals and mistake many gestures you make towards them. They can take rejection badly but being cruel to be kind is the way forward. You need to keep a cool head but make things clear. If you were going out as a friend in the first place you should make this clear in advance otherwise you will end up trying to explain his advances are unwanted later and he will want to know why. Dating for men is as tricky as it is for women and therefore you owe it to yourself and your date to end things amicably, but swiftly if it is simply not what you are looking for.

That way both people can move forward.
:idea:
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Postby colin » Mon Dec 07, 2009 8:54 am

Hello

No matter how much you hope that every date you go on is going to be a good one, even if it doesn't end up with a romantic connection, bad dates do happen. It could because you and your date find that you don't have anything in common with each other except for the one thing that brought you together in the first place (this could be a gym that you both attend, working together or even being introduced by a mutual friend), or it could be that everything that could go wrong on the date did go wrong, and that includes some unattractive habits that your date has displayed!
If the date is going badly, don't leave it right until the end before you tell your date that this isn't working. Assess how much of the failure to find a spark at the date is because of circumstances outside the control of both your date and yourself, and how much of the problem lies with the simple fact that you're just not compatible. If the date has been bad because of external factors then perhaps you might want to consider rescheduling it to see how things go next time; you'll certainly have a shared experience to laugh about. On the other hand, if you feel that there's no chance that you'd date this person again, then you need to be absolutely clear about this.

Thanks for sharing and reading
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Postby nikadt » Sun Jan 24, 2010 8:35 am

nice one,,i ll prefer to run away screeming " i forgot my dog in washing machine" haha
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Postby iListen » Thu May 06, 2010 1:41 pm

"First off - thank him for a nice date, and explain (gently) that you don't feel that there is any chemistry. You may prefer to do this by phone at a later stage. If he asks for a second chance, and asks you to go on another date with him; you must be firm with him. If you don't want to have any kind of relationship with the guy, then you have to make it quite clear.
"

Yep honesty is always the best policy. Tell the person straight up in the nicest way possible. If your not interested never pretend that you are, it puts hope in the other persons mind and it makes it even harder to end it.
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Postby sture » Sat Jun 19, 2010 11:58 pm

You just have to do what you have to do, don't waist your time whit thinking about it, meet the person and tell what you have to tell, nothing else, maby a resturant can be the right place ?
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Postby ritzbhogal delnaz » Tue Jun 29, 2010 7:06 am

These all are very nice tips for ending a date because it is very difficult to think about ideas while ending a date especially when a date is going to be bad.
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Postby jaspercarol » Tue Jul 13, 2010 12:21 pm

Ya, that's right ritzbhogal because after date we can judge people whether they are good or bad but this will depend on what type of date means this will happen especially in blind date.

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Postby JordanRHughes » Tue Jul 13, 2010 8:07 pm

This is solid advice.
Sometimes we need to bite the bullet and say the things we don't want to. That doesn't mean it has to be hurtful, just be as honest and straight up as you can and move on. It's likely inevitable that the other person will take it badly but sometimes you just can't avoid that.
colin wrote:Hello

No matter how much you hope that every date you go on is going to be a good one, even if it doesn't end up with a romantic connection, bad dates do happen. It could because you and your date find that you don't have anything in common with each other except for the one thing that brought you together in the first place (this could be a gym that you both attend, working together or even being introduced by a mutual friend), or it could be that everything that could go wrong on the date did go wrong, and that includes some unattractive habits that your date has displayed!
If the date is going badly, don't leave it right until the end before you tell your date that this isn't working. Assess how much of the failure to find a spark at the date is because of circumstances outside the control of both your date and yourself, and how much of the problem lies with the simple fact that you're just not compatible. If the date has been bad because of external factors then perhaps you might want to consider rescheduling it to see how things go next time; you'll certainly have a shared experience to laugh about. On the other hand, if you feel that there's no chance that you'd date this person again, then you need to be absolutely clear about this.

Thanks for sharing and reading
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Postby jhonypat » Mon Aug 02, 2010 6:36 am

These is one of the good post. it will certainly have an experience to share, to laugh. On the other hand, if you think there is a possibility that the date of this person again, then you must be absolutely clear the advice.
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Postby malinhardly » Fri Aug 20, 2010 6:40 am

It is important to find the right person for a serious relationship, but more dates you go, the more you are likely to experience an appointment. If you find yourself on a date with someone you are totally incompatible with you or you are simply not attracted to, you can reduce the awkwardness of date or end date blank.
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Postby Datingsa » Tue Aug 24, 2010 10:10 pm

Honsty is alway the best policy. You are quite right when you say that you need to be clear and unambiguous. Men are not known for their subtle communication skills so dont rely on them taking a hint. be plain, polite but firm.
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Postby oliviareeves » Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:11 am

if you will be honest he will make you crazy by asking you different types of questions.... so just make him feel that you have started liking someone else... and eventually he will break up the relationship by himself....
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